Signs of a Troubled Marriage and How a Marriage Counsellor can help

Feb 03, 2022

Signs of a Troubled Marriage and How a Marriage Counsellor can help

Marriages are unique, pure and can help you lead a great life by enjoying the best moments with your partner. Sometimes it may seem that your marriage is in trouble and there are warning signs of a troubled marriage that you should not ignore in order to save your marriage. Ignoring warning signs of a troubled marriage can be devastating emotionally and mentally! Do not bury your heads in the sand and think these problems will just go away. They most often will not! You must talk with your partner about them. These are hard but necessary conversations. 

A senior psychologist says, “Don’t divorce if your heart is torn. Instead, wait until clarity comes. If you have children, not having regrets means being able to tell them that you did everything you could to save the relationship.” — Becky Whetstone

Common Warning Signs of a Marriage in Trouble

  • The two of you bicker a great deal.
  • You are withdrawing from one another or use the eye roll a lot.
  • You don’t fight fair.
  • You find yourselves having the same arguments over the same things over and over again.
  • Your fights escalate out of control or to screaming matches.
  • There seems to be a feeling of indifference between you both
  • One or both of you are started to detach emotionally
  • You fight often in front of your kids
  • There is a lot of nitpicking going on between the two of you.
  • You no longer enjoy your time together. Your spouse prefers to spend free time away from you on a regular basis.
  • You have nothing nice to say to one another.
  • You don’t talk with one another about your problems or feelings.
  • You don’t respect one another or you nag one another.
  • There is inequality between you both concerning gender roles or decision making
  • You can’t seem to agree on goals and values.
  • You don’t trust one another and feel suspicious.
  • The level of sexual intimacy in your marriage is low or there isn’t any at all.
  • Teasing has become hurtful.
  • Your partner keeps secrets.
  • You think you are getting sick or having physical complaints due to marital stress
  • You don’t make time for each other and for new experiences together
  • Your spouse prefers to talk or texts on a cell phone that is kept private.
  • Your spouse is in frequent contact with old boyfriends or girlfriends via social media.
  • Your spouse tries to isolate you from your family and friends.
  • You discover your spouse is lying about money, is more frugal than usual, hides money or controls you with money.
  • You are happier when your spouse is away from home for an afternoon, a meeting, or for a business trip.
  • You realize that there is emotional and/or physical abuse in your marriage.
  • One or both of you have considered cheating or has cheated — in real life or online, physically or emotionally.

“When your relationship is on the brink of ending, the last thing you want to do is snuggle up to each other or whisper sweet nothings into each other’s ear. But do it anyway. Yes, when your relationship is in trouble, showing affection feels forced and robotic. But if it felt natural, you’d be doing it already. Your relationship thrives on affection and love and you want to get to a point where it starts feeling more natural. Send your partner that sappy text or send flowers to her work. They’ll know it’s forced but they’ll usually appreciate the gesture.” — Aaron Anderson 

How Marriage therapists can help people in Troubled Marriages?

Between 40 percent and 50 percent of marriages in the U.S. end in divorce, but this rate is falling, perhaps due to the excellent marriage counseling services now available. More and more people are seeking the help of a third party before things break down. As a result of professional intervention, relationships are being rebuilt even before partners think of divorce.

If your relationship has hit a rocky patch, confronting the issues now could transform your marriage — and save it from destruction in the future. If you need convincing, here are some practical ways in which marriage counseling brings loving couples back from the brink.

Most leading marriage counselors have dealt with a wide range of marital issues over the years. After giving you and your partner an opportunity to talk freely, your experienced counselor will work on ways to improve communication. But when talking alone isn’t enough, the best counseling professionals go one step further.

Using a combination of impartial reasoning and a vast wealth of experience, counselors provide various snippets of advice designed to improve relationships. They will offer practical tips on how to work on the problem areas of a marriage, but it will be up to the couple to put those tips into action at home. Because the advice is impartial and takes into account both points of view, it can be very valuable to couples.

Dr. Sue Johnson utilized more than 50 years of research into the way humans bond to develop a system of counseling known as Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy. This approach is based on the assumption that couples bond over time, and connect in many different ways.

This innovative approach looks at ways to systematically take control of negative issues such as disconnection, conflict, and indifference. Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy is based on the principle that falling in and out of love doesn’t have to be a determining factor in a successful, long-term marriage.

Don’t Wait to Seek Professional Help

To receive the most from marriage counseling, don’t wait until your marriage is beyond repair to get professional help. A skilled marriage therapist can be an ally to your marriage. This person can guide you through the tough communication needed to get your marriage back on track. A therapist will not take sides, help creates safety and connection and help you with negative communication patterns. When the problems become unsolvable by our own attempts, it is a good idea to seek professional help.

If both parties in a marriage are open to the counseling process, almost any troubled relationship can be saved. But this is a process, and there are no quick fixes. Both parties must be prepared to work at things and to take professional advice and guidance where necessary. You can take the first step towards getting that expert help by contacting marriage counseling specialist Couples Thrive.

I am a certified life coach and a Relationship counsellor helping couples overcome relationship issues and rebuild their relationship to live a fulfilling life. If you think that your marriage has hit a rocky patch then you can get in touch with me by giving me Call: 804-491-8082 or filling out the contact form below.

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